When Aging Parents and Adult Children Both Need Support

There is a term we are hearing more often called the Sandwich Generation.

It describes people who find themselves caught between two very different sets of family responsibilities. They may be helping an aging parent with appointments, transportation, finances, home maintenance or personal care while still raising, housing or financially supporting their own children.

For many Windsor-Essex families, those children are no longer young. They may be in their twenties or thirties, working, attending school, paying down debt or trying to save enough money to move out.

Meanwhile, their parents are getting older and may need more help remaining safe and independent.

The person in the middle is often still working, paying a mortgage and trying to prepare for retirement while becoming the person everyone calls when something needs to be handled.

What Does “Sandwich Generation” Actually Mean?

Statistics Canada uses a specific definition of sandwich caregiving.

In its 2022 research, a sandwich caregiver was someone who provided unpaid care to a child under age 15 while also caring for a person aged 15 or older who needed assistance because of a long-term health condition, disability or age-related need.

In everyday conversation, we often use the term more broadly. It can also describe parents who have adult children living at home while they help an aging parent or family member.

An adult child living at home is not automatically considered a recipient of “care” under Statistics Canada’s formal definition. However, providing housing, financial support, transportation and ongoing help can still place added pressure on the parents caught in the middle.

More Than Two in Five Canadians Provide Unpaid Care

This is not a small or unusual group.

In 2022, 13.4 million Canadians aged 15 and older provided unpaid care, representing approximately 42% of Canadians in that age group.

Of those caregivers, 1.8 million, or 13%, were sandwich caregivers who provided care to both children and care-dependent adults or youth.

The most common arrangement involved caring for a parent or parent-in-law while also caring for a child under 15, representing 34% of sandwich caregivers. Another 15% were caring for a parent while also caring for a grandchild.

Caregiving can include:

• Driving someone to appointments
• Preparing meals
• Picking up medication or groceries
• Coordinating medical care
• Helping with banking and paperwork
• Maintaining another property
• Providing personal care
• Offering emotional support
• Supervising children or grandchildren

Many people providing this care do not think of themselves as caregivers. They simply see themselves as helping their family.

But when those responsibilities continue to accumulate, the person in the middle can become physically, emotionally and financially overwhelmed.

Who Is Most Likely to Be Caught in the Middle?

Sandwich caregiving is most common during prime working years.

Statistics Canada found that 29% of sandwich caregivers were between 35 and 44 years old. Another 20% were between 45 and 54, while 18% were between 55 and 64. Overall, 60% were between 25 and 54.

The 55-to-64 age group is especially important to consider.

Many people at this stage are trying to make their final mortgage payments, increase their retirement savings, reduce their workload or plan their own future housing needs. Instead, they may be financially supporting an adult child while taking on increasing responsibility for an aging parent.

Women also continue to carry a disproportionate share of the pressure. Statistics Canada found that 62% of sandwich caregivers were women, compared with 38% who were men.

The Effects Go Far Beyond Being Busy

The Sandwich Generation is sometimes discussed almost lightheartedly: driving a child to work, taking a parent to the doctor and then getting home in time to make dinner.

In reality, the effects can be serious.

Statistics Canada found that 86% of sandwich caregivers experienced at least one negative effect on their physical health or well-being because of their caregiving responsibilities.

Among sandwich caregivers:

• 69% felt tired
• 65% felt worried or anxious
• 50% felt overwhelmed

The impact can also extend into the workplace. Among sandwich caregivers who were not retired, 66% said caregiving had negatively affected their employment or job-search activities.

Some had to adjust their schedules, reduce their hours or responsibilities, or give up better employment opportunities.

Financial strain was also common. Approximately 35% reported experiencing financial hardship because of their caregiving responsibilities.

For women in sandwich-caregiving roles, the reported effects were even greater. Statistics Canada found that 93% experienced a negative effect on their health and well-being, 41% reported a financial impact, and 50% said caregiving affected their family relationships.

These numbers show that caregiving can affect health, income, careers, marriages, sibling relationships and retirement planning.

Adult Children Living at Home Are Part of the Windsor-Essex Story

The traditional picture of the Sandwich Generation involves someone caring for young children and elderly parents.

The modern version often includes adult children who remain in or return to the family home.

According to the 2021 Census, 35.1% of Canadians aged 20 to 34 lived with at least one parent. In the Windsor census metropolitan area, that figure was approximately 45%, placing Windsor among the larger urban centres with the highest proportions of young adults living with parents.

That does not mean these young adults are unemployed or unwilling to become independent.

Some are attending school. Some are working and contributing to household expenses. Others may have returned home after a relationship breakdown, employment change or period of financial difficulty.

Nationally, Statistics Canada found that 47.5% of people aged 20 to 34 who were attending school in 2021 lived with their parents in an intergenerational household.

Living together can benefit the entire family. An adult child may contribute financially, help with household responsibilities or assist with the care of a grandparent.

However, the arrangement can become difficult when parents are supporting an adult child, helping an aging parent and trying to protect their own retirement at the same time.

Intergenerational Living Is Already Common

Statistics Canada defines an intergenerational household as one composed of parents and their adult children aged 20 or older, with no other generations of the family present.

In 2021, 7.1 million Canadians lived in intergenerational households, representing 19.5% of people living in private households. That is approximately one in five Canadians.

A multigenerational household generally includes three or more generations of the same family, such as grandparents, parents and children.

In 2021, approximately 2.4 million Canadians lived in a multigenerational household, representing 6.5% of people living in private households.

Multigenerational living is not new, and for many families it is a positive choice rooted in culture, connection, finances and shared responsibility.

But it works best when the family has carefully considered privacy, accessibility, costs and expectations.

When the Home Becomes Part of the Care Plan

When families feel pressure from both directions, housing often becomes part of the conversation.

The first reaction may be:

“We need a bigger house.”

Sometimes that is the right answer. Sometimes it creates a more expensive property without solving the actual problem.

Before buying, selling or renovating, the family should identify what everyone truly needs.

Questions worth discussing include:

• Does the aging parent need daily care or occasional assistance?
• Could the parent remain in their home with modifications and outside support?
• Does the adult child need temporary help or a long-term housing arrangement?
• Could family members live close to one another without sharing one home?
• Who will provide transportation, meals and personal care?
• How much privacy does each person need?
• Who will pay for renovations and increased household expenses?
• Will the arrangement still work if someone’s health, employment or relationship changes?
• Is the solution sustainable for the person providing most of the support?

A house can provide space, but it cannot establish boundaries, divide responsibilities or resolve financial disagreements.

Those conversations still need to happen.

Housing Options for the Sandwich Generation

There is no single solution that works for every Windsor-Essex family.

Help an aging parent remain at home

An aging parent may be able to remain in familiar surroundings with changes such as better lighting, bathroom safety features, fewer tripping hazards, a main-floor bedroom or additional help with maintenance and transportation.

However, families should honestly assess the home’s condition, accessibility and location. A large rural property may become difficult to maintain, even if the parent is not ready to leave it.

Move the parent closer to family

A bungalow, condominium, apartment, retirement residence or smaller home near family may allow an aging parent to remain independent while making practical support easier.

Living close by can sometimes offer a healthier balance than sharing the same household.

Adapt the existing family home

Some families may be able to create a more private living area with a bedroom, full bathroom, separate entrance or additional sitting space.

Before creating or representing any space as a separate dwelling unit, families should confirm the applicable municipal, building, fire, financing and insurance requirements. A finished basement is not automatically a legal apartment.

Purchase a multigenerational property

A suitable multigenerational home may offer:

• A main-floor bedroom and bathroom
• Separate or flexible living areas
• More than one entrance
• Adequate parking
• Laundry access
• Limited stairs
• Privacy between generations
• Proximity to medical care and services

More square footage does not automatically make a home more functional. A thoughtful layout can be more valuable than a very large house with little separation.

Create a plan for an adult child living at home

There is nothing inherently wrong with an adult child living at home, especially when the arrangement allows them to finish school, reduce debt or save toward their own future.

However, an open-ended arrangement can create frustration.

The family may benefit from discussing household contributions, responsibilities, savings goals, privacy and a general plan for the future.

The purpose is not necessarily to impose a strict move-out date. It is to make sure everyone understands why the arrangement exists and what progress looks like.

Have the Financial and Legal Conversations Early

Multigenerational living can reduce certain expenses, but it can also create complicated ownership and estate questions.

Families should consider:

• Who will own the property?
• Is money contributed toward the purchase or renovations a gift, loan or ownership investment?
• What happens to that contribution if the home is sold?
• Who will pay the taxes, utilities, insurance and maintenance?
• What happens if a family relationship breaks down?
• How will the arrangement affect the parent’s estate?
• Will one sibling provide more care than another?
• What happens if the primary caregiver becomes unable to continue?

These decisions should not be based only on a verbal promise that everyone will work things out later.

Real estate professionals can help families evaluate properties and housing options. Ownership, financing, taxation and estate matters should be reviewed with the appropriate lawyer, accountant, lender or financial advisor.

Protect the Person Holding Everyone Together

Perhaps the most important part of this conversation is protecting the person in the middle.

Parents naturally want to help their children. Adult children naturally want to care for their parents. But one person should not quietly sacrifice their own health, retirement and housing security because everyone assumes they will handle it.

Before taking on another financial or caregiving commitment, it is reasonable to ask:

• Is this temporary or permanent?
• Can I afford it?
• Are other family members contributing fairly?
• Are community or professional services available?
• What effect will this have on my work and retirement?
• Is the plan emotionally and physically sustainable?

Boundaries are not a failure to care.

A realistic plan may allow someone to support their family for much longer than an arrangement built on guilt, urgency or unrealistic expectations.

You do not want today’s solution to create tomorrow’s housing crisis for the person who has been holding everyone else together.

The Bottom Line

The Sandwich Generation represents millions of Canadians who are balancing work, finances, housing, adult children and the growing needs of aging parents.

Here in Windsor, where approximately 45% of young adults aged 20 to 34 were living with at least one parent at the time of the 2021 Census, this is especially relevant.

Housing can absolutely be part of the solution, but it should not be the first decision made during a moment of panic.

Sometimes the right answer is living together. Sometimes it is helping an aging parent remain at home. Sometimes it is moving closer without sharing one household. In other cases, it means creating a clearer plan for an adult child who needs more time before living independently.

The best solution is not necessarily the largest home or the most expensive renovation.

It is the arrangement that provides safety, dignity, privacy and support without placing an unreasonable financial, physical or emotional burden on one person.

These conversations are much easier to have before a health issue, financial problem or housing crisis forces the family to make a rushed decision.

Sources

Statistics Canada, “Sandwiched” between unpaid care for children and care-dependent adults: A gender-based study, released April 2, 2024.

Statistics Canada, Who Are the Sandwich Caregivers in Canada?, released April 2, 2024.

Statistics Canada, Home Alone: More Persons Living Solo Than Ever Before, but Roomies the Fastest Growing Household Type, based on the 2021 Census.

Statistics Canada, Adulting Together: Parents and Adult Children Who Co-reside, released August 14, 2025.

Statistics Canada, Unpacking Canada’s Multigenerational Households, released August 14, 2025.

This blog is for information purposes and is not intended to replace legal, accounting, financial or environmental advice, nor is it intended to solicit those currently under contract with another Brokerage.